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I know I’m gay, but I know you don’t know me, says one man who has spent a week living a lie. 

I met Mr R, a 30-year-old Australian who works for a local restaurant, and decided to take the risk. 

The first thing I did was ask Mr R if he knew anyone else I might be interested in. 

He told me that he had seen another man at the restaurant. 

“So I was wondering what that person looked like,” he said.

“So, I went up to him and said, ‘Hi, how are you?’ 

He said, “Oh, I’m happy’.” I then asked, “Do you know who I am?” 

He replied, “Yes”.”

So?

“I asked. 

Mr R said, “I think I do.” 

I went on to ask about Mr R’s partner. 

I pressed. “

And?”

I pressed. 

As I was leaving the restaurant, I noticed Mr R was holding up a sign on his door.

He pointed to a sign reading: “I love you”.

“What’s your name?”

I said. 

And he said,  “Michael”.

 I said, “Michael, I’d like you to come into my office and talk to me.” 

And that was it. 

This is not the first time I’ve encountered someone who has lied about being gay, and has told me he’s gay and/or bisexual. 

A few years ago, my husband, who is straight, was in a relationship with someone he met online. 

When we got engaged, the person we were dating told us she had been in a long-term relationship for about two years and had a child. 

We were both confused. 

What did he mean? 

We wondered what it was like to be in a romantic relationship and have children, and then have someone lie about it and say he is not gay. 

My husband said he didn’t know what to think. 

Later, I found out that he was a lesbian, but this time I could tell. 

Michael said that he would never lie about his sexuality and he did not want to do so. 

In a nutshell, he is gay.

He has always known this and is very proud of it.

 This was a very brave thing to do.

However, the problem is, he still lied. 

That was the first big lie.

We are not alone in our lies.

Many people do not believe they are gay.

As long as we do not get too caught up in our beliefs, it’s unlikely we’ll be able to overcome our fears.

If you are thinking about telling someone you are gay, ask yourself these questions: Is this a lie to keep from them?

 Are they going to believe you? 

Does it matter to them that you are a different person? 

If you feel you have to lie, think carefully about what you’re doing.

Are you making any other promises you can’t keep? 

Will it make things worse? 

Do you believe it will make you feel better? 

Is it too embarrassing for you?

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